


Finding My Way Home

by shwknm



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Non-Famous, Angst, Changing POVs, Enemies, Flashbacks, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, I'm Sorry, Implied Character Death, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Parting Ways, Romance, SLOW UPDATES bc i'm lazy af, Slice of Life, i literally wrote this for pure self-indulgence, slow burn?, sorry if this sucks
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-18
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-03-16 16:35:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,896
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28834251
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shwknm/pseuds/shwknm
Summary: Yoo Kihyun had been to many places—if you ask him—too many places. He was so used to moving and the feeling of not belonging anywhere that he gave up on holding on to anything that would want him to stay. Finally trying his luck in this new town, he finds himself in between a past he desperately wanted to come back to, and a future he didn't know he still craved for after all these years. Friendship, love, and secrets are at stake. Would he choose to leave, or would he choose to stay?
Relationships: Lee Minhyuk/Yoo Kihyun, Son Hyunwoo | Shownu/Yoo Kihyun
Comments: 17
Kudos: 22





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello :) this is my first time writing a chaptered fic, and i'm still trying to recover from my writing slump so please forgive me for any mistake that i might make :)) also, English isn't my first language so yeah, if you're reading this, thank you and i hope you stay safe uwu <3

**KIHYUN**

_Notebooks, check._   
_Class schedule, check._

Kihyun carefully scanned all the contents of his backpack, making sure he hasn't forgotten anything he needs to bring to his new school. Yup, new school, again. You see, this was his third time transferring schools after his dad decided to marry thrice, each marriage not lasting a year's time. Kihyun's dad seemed to be discontent with everything in his life, resulting to him marrying women he meets just because he feels that, quote unquote, "this time, it's different". Kihyun never bothers to care about who and how many times he marries, but it gets pretty annoying since every time his dad and his current stepmom (he doesn't call any of them by that) breaks up, his dad insists they move places to "heal his broken heart". So yeah, new school, again. It sucks because Kihyun can't afford to make friends, not anymore, not when he is uncertain of whether they will move to another place for the nth time. It just hurts, parting with someone so close to you just because you can't control where you'll end up being at. 

_Nope_ , Kihyun thought. _Let's not dwell on the hurtful things from the past._

  
With one last look at his mirror, he stood up, put his backpack on, and got ready to head to his new life.

________________________________

"Oh no. This is not happening. What the fuck?" Kihyun stood in horror as he looked at a small kid being harassed by three far larger (and uglier) students. First day and this was the first thing he would see? Nuh-uh, not happening. Kihyun was on his way to campus and was in danger of getting late because he can't seem to find this fucking room number, when he heard a small whimper coming from one of the rooms he passed by. He decides to ignore it because _fuck it, I don't wanna be late and get on the bad side of my new teacher,_ and was about to walk away when a sudden crash was heard from the said room. He ran towards the noise, trying his best to not make any noise, and peeked at the small gap between the broken jalousie window. He saw a kid sitting on the floor, maybe a year or two younger than him, wearing cute round glasses adorning his eyes that were evident with fear. Standing in front of him were three tall and burly boys, laughing with malice as they try to get the kid's bag from him. Though afraid, Glasses Boy seemed intent on not giving the Ugly Three his bag. One of the three, probably the leader, was not happy by this and was about to slap the kid when a noise outside caught his attention. Kihyun, nervous that the kid would be harmed, desperately threw his shoe towards the trash bin that was outside the room to distract the bullies. Ugly Three and Glasses Boy looked outside. Fortunately only the kid saw him and the boy discreetly shook his head as if to say, _"Don't, we'll both be dead"._

Kihyun considered his options. He had to think fast. He was there, alone in an empty hallway, with nothing but his one shoe, his backpack, and his written schedule in hand. If he goes inside and fights the Ugly Three, he and the other kid will surely be dead meat. He could scream for help, but then he figured no one would get there in time, these three might be alerted to run away and escape. No other option, he must help the kid and maybe drag him out to run before the bullies could grab them. He was about to stand up and go inside the room, when he was suddenly grabbed by a pair of strong hands. Kihyun's eyes widened, arms flailing wildly as he instinctively tried to scream, but was stopped by a hand covering his mouth. He looked beside him, noticing only now that there was another student staring at the scene. 

"Shhh," the stranger said, gesturing for Kihyun to sit back down again. Kihyun, though confused and still slightly panicking, obliged. The stranger removed his hand that was covering Kihyun's mouth, and stood up. Kihyun was made aware of how tall and how built this student was. He had a slightly tanned shade of skin—golden, that's what Kihyun thought—and his build looked like he does some exercise. _Maybe an athlete?_ Kihyun watched in nervous anticipation as the student harshly opened the door to the said room, startling everyone at the scene.

"The fuck is this?" the maybe-an-athlete student said, although almost a whisper, but with anger barely held back in his voice. Kihyun felt shudders run along his back, as if his body recognized the student as someone to not mess with. The three bullies, who looked much smaller in front of the athlete student despite their size, stood there in mock fear. Glasses Boy, seemingly feeling the impending anger of the taller male, quickly stood up, still tightly holding onto his bag as if it was a precious object, grabbed Kihyun by his hand and took off to run.

**MINHYUK**

"Where the hell is that kid? First day of school and he's already gonna be late," Minhyuk said as he sat down on his desk chair. 

"Maybe he got sidetracked again, you know how he is, always gets distracted by the spiders and stupid stuff along the way. I don't really understand why you adopted that child under your wing, Min. He's weird," a tall, lanky male sleepily replied, rubbing his still puffy eyes.

"Shut up, Won. And he's _our_ child, it's you who first claimed him as yours, saying how adorably weird he is that you wanna put him in your pocket." Minhyuk bit back, but was smiling nonetheless. He knew Hyungwon was just kidding, and that he adored their kid too much. He and Hyungwon have met him last year when said kid transferred to their school. He was two years younger than them, but was so smart that he skipped two years and went straight into senior high. _Fucking smart pants._ They did not immediately befriend him, but then Minhyuk was on the verge of failing his algebra class that Hyungwon suggested he seek help from the weird, quiet (but incredibly smart) kid. From then on they discovered that the kid was secretly cute and adorable when he wanted to be, with his soft fluffy hair and puppy eyes, making Hyungwon and Minhyuk victims to his irresistible charms. _But where is that kid?_

He found his answer ten minutes after the bell rang. Mrs. Choi was discussing something about homeroom when Changkyun appeared by the door, glasses askew, his hair a mess, and his breathing fast as if he ran like his life depended on it. Minhyuk shot him a curious gaze, asking _"What the hell happened to you?"_ through his eyes, but Changkyun shook his head as if to say _"Later."_

"Mr. Im Changkyun, what a great way to start the school year," Mrs. Choi said, making Changkyun embarrassed. Minhyuk sees how the color of his cheeks turn into red, making him look much younger than he usually does. _Cute._

"Actually, ma'am, it's my fault. I was lost in the campus and he kindly helped me find this room," a voice said behind Changkyun. Minhyuk was so focused on his friend that he didn't notice the other student that was standing outside. When Minhyuk shifted his gaze from Changkyun to the source of the voice who just spoke, he felt his jaw drop. He was so taken aback that he hadn't realized that he (though unaware) had stood up in class and audibly mumbled for the whole class to hear,

"What in the fucking hell are you doing here, Yoo Kihyun?!"

_________________________

  
"We see each other after three years and what? You gave me detention. Thanks, Yoo," Minhyuk sulked as he glared at Kihyun sitting across him. The two of them, together with Changkyun and Hyungwon, were sitting at their usual table in the cafeteria although the latter two were confusedly shifting their gaze from him and Kihyun. 

"I'm sorry, Min, but I didn't know you'd be here. Besides, I didn't tell you to stand up and cuss in front of the class."

_The fuck? The audacity?_ Minhyuk was so annoyed that this Yoo Kihyun had the guts to talk back to him when it was _his_ fault. He was about to say something sassy back but was stopped by Hyungwon when his taller friend suddenly asked, "How did you know each other?" 

  
Minhyuk sighed. He stared at Kihyun, expecting him to answer the question. Unfortunately the said male avoided his gaze and was picking at the hem of his shirt, signaling that he was anxious and uncomfortable. _Yoo Kihyun, you still haven't changed_ , Minhyuk said to himself and figured someone had to answer Hyungwon.

"We used to be frie— _classmates._ We were classmates back at my old school." 

Minhyuk noticed Kihyun wincing at the word classmates, but he stayed silent nonetheless. He observed the way the shorter male slightly furrows his eyebrows, seemingly lost in his own thoughts. It may had been three years but he could still recognize Kihyun's emotions, almost reading him like an open book. 

Minhyuk decided to change the subject, and asked Changkyun what really happened that morning. This time, it was Changkyun who winced at the question.

"We were...uh...I mean I was distracted by a spider on the hallways," the kid stuttered while forcing a nervous smile, clearly not telling the truth.

"Kyun, stop lying. I raised you since you're in your diapers. You are my child and you can't hide anything from me," Minhyuk whined, which resulted to Hyungwon snorting as if to say, _'Here we go again.'_

Changkyun sighed. At the back of his mind, Minhyuk smirked, knowing how easily this friend of his caved in to his sulking and whining. 

"Yeah Kyun, don't lie to your _dad_ ," Hyungwon teased, earning a playful slap from Minhyuk. 

"Promise me you won't get mad?" Changkyun asked with his puppy eyes, and Minhyuk thinks it's so adorable. He side-eyed Hyungwon, both of them coming to the same conclusion without needing to say anything. They both nodded. 

"I was harassed by Junghwan and his friends." 

Hyungwon swore and Minhyuk was in the middle of standing up, intent on finding that asshole who tried to cross his baby, _their baby,_ but Changkyun was faster. 

"But I was not harmed! I swear, nothing happened! Kihyun hyung threw his shoe at the trash bin to distract Junghwan, and I was able to escape. I promise, you can see for yourselves, I'm fine!" 

Minhyuk looked at Kihyun, who was sitting there not saying anything, and then he looked down at his feet. Yoo Kihyun sports one single shoe on his left foot, and a sailor moon-themed socks was visible on his right foot where a next piece of shoe should be. There was a pause, the table so silent that you could hear a pin drop, and then Minhyuk started laughing like a madman. He was doubling over, slamming his palms on the wooden table as he cackled and wheezed, that a lot of people started to look weirdly at them, maybe wondering what the fuck is happening to him. He laughed so hard that when he finally calmed down, he was wiping tears from his eyes. _Ah, Yoo Kihyun. Silly old Ki._

"Yah, Ki, seriously you still wear those?" He teased, and he felt himself smiling wider when Kihyun flushed pink. Even Hyungwon and Changkyun started laughing and teasing the other for his questionable choice of socks, that they didn't hear when Kihyun quietly mumbled, "You gave them to me, of course I'd still wear it." 

Minhyuk heard him clearly.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i can't sleep, so i decided to add another chapter hehe i actually have the first four chapters in my drafts, but i'm not satisfied with how it turned out :( anywayyy, enjoy ^^

**KIHYUN**

"You gave them to me, of course I still wear it."

_Yoo Kihyun, you idiot._ He mentally slapped his forehead, berating himself for saying something so bold yet at the same time stupid. He didn't mean to say those out loud, but when he looked at the people in front of him, none of them seemed to have heard. He breathed a sigh of relief.

The three friends were now busy conversing about 'How-to-kill-a-shitface-and-his-minions-without-actually-getting-jailed', with Changkyun desperately trying to talk Hyungwon out of his plan to wrangle Junghwan's neck, while Minhyuk blabbers on about how he'll "give those three dickheads something to stick up their ugly fuck asses". He kept observing them, noticing how Hyungwon admiringly looks at Minhyuk while the latter goes on about his plans on Junghwan's murder, as if it was endearing to hear someone casually talking about some _ugly fuck asses_ getting murdered. He felt a small pang of jealousy, but then he shoved it aside.

_"I don't deserve to feel that way. Not anymore,_ " he thought. In fact, he felt like he's not allowed to feel something, anything at all, where Minhyuk is concerned. Guilt was the only thing he deserved to feel. 

He never really expected to see the guy again after he and his dad moved places, but fate seemed to have other plans. When he first saw him this morning, asking him what the fuck was he doing here, he felt terrified. He felt so scared that Minhyuk would lash out at him and be angry at him, but he was greeted with the opposite of what he expected. Sure, Minhyuk had glared at him a while ago, called him classmate instead of a friend, but that was it. For what he did to him in the past, he expected something more... _intense._

Kihyun expected Minhyuk to never want to talk or see him again, but the guy had approached him during lunch and invited him to sit with his two friends. Kihyun was so relieved to hear the other whining about detention instead of ignoring him, that he naturally sassed back, just like they usually did three years ago.

And then he made Minhyuk laugh. He unintentionally made him double over because of his favorite sailor moon socks. He looked at Minhyuk while the guy struggled to breathe because of his intensive laughing and Kihyun almost thanked the heavens for letting him meet Changkyun while he was moments away from being slapped. _Almost._

He remembered staring like this at Minhyuk before, remembered how in his eyes, Minhyuk had always been handsome—even back when they were just freshmen, with their wiggly arms and baby fat. But now, as Kihyun looks at him pinching Changkyun's cheeks, looking so fond and happy, his flawless cheeks getting round as he laughs, his eyes twinkling with playfulness and mischief that Kihyun was so used to, he can't help but to think that Minhyuk was beautiful. 

Kihyun was broken out of his stupor when someone suddenly walked towards their table. He didn't notice it at first, since he started joining the others in their laughing, but then the table suddenly fell into a tense silence. He looked at Minhyuk and his smile that was there just a moment ago was replaced with an angry scowl. Kihyun feared Minhyuk was looking at him, but when he turned around, he saw the student that helped him and Changkyun escape this morning pensively standing behind him.

"Didn't know ugly dogs are allowed in here. Go away, we don't want anything to do with assholes," Minhyuk spat out with so much venom, Kihyun was taken aback. He never saw Minhyuk this angry before. _This._ This was the reaction he was expecting when Minhyuk first saw him this morning. He scanned the faces of the others, and he saw Hyungwon's jaw tightening while Changkyun seemed to be sweating in fear. _What's going on?_

"You forgot your shoe." The tall student suddenly said, voice deep and steady, making Kihyun jump. He realized that he was talking to him. He was holding out Kihyun's shoe, not even sparing a glance at Minhyuk and the others seated at the table. He regarded Kihyun with a blank expression, and Kihyun intelligently stared back at him with his mouth slightly agape, not knowing what to do. Minhyuk suddenly stood up, grabbed the shoe from the other male's hand with much force than what is necessary, and dragged Kihyun away, with Changkyun and Hyungwon following them from behind. After barely keeping up with Minhyuk's long legs and angry strives, they finally stopped in front of the school oval. 

"Explain. Why does that shithead have your shoe?" Minhyuk, clearly annoyed, asked Kihyun. Kihyun doesn't understand the anger that Minhyuk was displaying, and why he keeps on calling that student indecent names. He was about to tell how that _shithead_ saved his and Changkyun's asses that morning, but he was beat to it. 

"Hyunwoo hyung saw me and Kihyun hyung running in the hallways, maybe he found the shoe and deduced it belonged to Kihyun hyung," Changkyun explained nervously. Kihyun shot the younger male a confused look, eyes asking why did he lie about what happened. Changkyun just avoided his gaze. 

"Don't call him hyung," Minhyuk almost shouts, then he turned to Kihyun, "and stay away from him. He's a monster, Ki, you don't want anything to do with him."

_Who was Hyunwoo? And what happened to him and Min?_

**HYUNWOO**

"I'm gonna punch that idiot in the face," Lee Jooheon, a fairly tall male with an intense gaze in his eyes that was amusingly in contrast with his dimpled cheeks and chestnut-colored hair, scowled as he tries (and spectacularly fails) to wrap Hyunwoo's right knuckles with bandage.

"You don't have to, Joobs, he's already got a dent on his left jaw that would last him a few weeks, it'll be overkill if he'd gotten his ugly nose misaligned," Hyunwoo chuckled, making the other male scowl even more. The younger male might come off as intimidating when someone looked at his scowling face, but his pout betrayed him by giving him this cute vibe that Hyunwoo could never take his anger seriously. It may have showed on his face, because the younger harshly tightened the knot of the bandage on Hyunwoo's hand without any warning, making the latter scream. 

"Yah!"

Jooheon glared at him, although with no real bite in it, and then sighed in defeat. Hyunwoo watched as the younger's shoulders slacked, finally finishing wrapping his wounded hand. 

"I don't understand, hyung. You never paid attention to that asshole before, since it was you who said that they were good for nothing. First, you mess around with almost all the girls who give you motive. And then you get all tangled up with dudes who can't accept that they were dumped because of you. And now, this? Are you really trying to give me a heart attack by always making me patch you up every time you fight? It's been a year, hyung. You have to get a grip and stop doing this. This is not you. Please forgive yourself and move on. Hoseok hyung would never—"

Hyunwoo abruptly stood up from the stool he was sitting on, the metal chair scraping the floor making a loud sound that startled Jooheon. 

"We don't know what Ho—" he stopped, not able to say his name, "we don't know what _he_ would and would never do. _He left_ ," he angrily said, his chest heaving and his breathing becoming uneven. 

The room was so silent he could hear the faintest ringing in his ear. When he finally felt himself calm down, Hyunwoo looked at Jooheon and noticed that the latter looked apprehensive, clearly feeling guilty that he broached the forbidden topic. Hyunwoo sighed, and patted his only friend's shoulders, signalling that he wasn't mad at him. 

"I'm sorry, I promise I won't cross paths with that idiot again, it's just that this time, he was gonna hurt Changkyun. I'm not gonna let him do that."

Jooheon's face was so stunned for a second, and then the next moment he was on his feet, anger clearly evident on his eyes.

"I'm really gonna punch that fucking idiot in the face, hyung. Don't stop me."

Hyunwoo laughs.

______________________________

The cafeteria, as usual, was packed with students making small conversations with one another that it made Hyunwoo's head buzz. He wasn't used to these many people, that's why he prefers to not visit the cafeteria and instead go somewhere else outside the campus to eat lunch. This time, though, he voluntarily went there, eyes searching for someone, trying his best to ignore the sounds of talking and laughing surrounding him.

He stood there for five minutes scanning the crowd, and was about to just give up and turn away when he heard someone laugh. Rather, among all the sounds around him, he recognized that particular laugh. 

He turned towards where it came from, and as he expected, he saw _him_. He noticed the male he saw this morning, scanned the faces of the others seated at that table, and once again fixed his gaze back on the new student. He saw him laughing with the others, and noticed the dimples on his cheeks that seem to appear only when he was laughing. He shook his head. _I have to focus._ Hyunwoo straightened his back, started walking towards their table while holding a single shoe on his left hand, and avoided all the looks that was piercing at him. He looked calm and collected on the outside, but as he was nearing his destination, he felt himself slightly trembling.

"You forgot your shoe." 

Hyunwoo couldn't trust himself to say anything more than that, and was planning to just give the shorter male in front of him his shoe and then walk away. Suddenly he felt a harsh hand grabbing the shoe from his injured hand. He almost flinched from the contact, but remained silent and stared at the floor, head hung low as he tried his best to avoid eye contact. He stood there, channeling out all the noise and sound around him, trying to calm the erratic beating of his heart.

A minute had passed when he decided to lift his head and look in front, his gaze trailing the now retreating backs of the table's previous occupants. He stood there, in the middle of the jam-packed cafeteria, his eyes not leaving _him_ until _he_ was out of his sight, once again feeling that strange pinch inside his chest that he hadn't felt for a long while.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i updated the tags, please read them carefully before proceeding bc this chapter is going to contain some angst. i'm sorry

* * *

**KIHYUN**

It's been three months since he started attending school in the town of Gwangju, and Kihyun could say that he had adjusted much better than he did in the previous schools he transferred to. With Minhyuk beside him, along with Hyungwon and Changkyun, he was able to keep up with everything that was going on in his campus life. Minhyuk and him seemed to have an unspoken agreement to not talk about what happened three years ago, and although quite feeling disappointed and extremely guilty, Kihyun didn't complain. He was just glad to have Minhyuk back as his friend. Minhyuk, his friend, who is currently lying on his back on top of Kihyun's bed, whining and pouting like a real adult that he is. Kihyun rolls his eyes. 

"Minhyuk, I'm gonna slap you in the face if you don't stop your antics," he warned. 

"But Kiiiii~"

"No."

"Kiiiiiii~~"

"I said no."

Kihyun sighed. Throughout the week, Minhyuk had been bugging him nonstop to change partners for their music project. Minhyuk and Kihyun's class were assigned partners from the other class to compose and write a song that they would perform during the school festival, which gives them a month before the performance. The moment it was announced, Minhyuk was ecstatic. He was so happy since, according to him, music was his favorite. He excitedly recited all the names of his friends from the other class that he wanted to be partnered with. There was Jeonghan, Dokyeom, Hoshi, Jaehyun, and all other names that Kihyun couldn't quite remember. Minhyuk had to be silenced by Mr. Kim because he was literally bouncing in his chair from the excitement. After calming the ever excited Minhyuk, their teacher started assigning them their partners.

"Chae Hyungwon, you're gonna work with Jeon Wonwoo from class B."

Kihyun noticed Hyungwon smiling, seemingly content with his partner.

"Kim Soobin, you're with Eunwoo." 

The class erupted into giggles and laughters because Soobin was increasingly turning into beet red. Eunwoo was famous for his looks and Soobin, just like almost all the girls and guys in the campus, seem to be crushing on the boy. Once again, Mr. Kim had to ask for silence.

"Im Changkyun, I'm gonna partner you with... let's see. Okay, you're with Son Hyunwoo."

The difference from when Soobin's partner was announced to when Changkyun's was, was impalpable. Everyone seemed to stop and anticipate what was going to happen next. Changkyun nervously side eyed Minhyuk to see his reaction, while Kihyun was left confused. _Son Hyunwoo, that name again._

After their encounter during his first day, Kihyun was so curious about who was really that guy and why is Minhyuk so angry at him, but no matter how much he asked Changkyun and Hyungwon (he doesn't ask Minhyuk, seeing how upset he was when it comes to Son Hyunwoo) about it, they refused to answer. Naturally, he gave up. He avoided the topic to make peace with Minhyuk, but now his curiosity was being piqued again because apparently, all of the class knew. Luckily, Minhyuk just stayed silent and Mr. Kim proceeded with his roll call.

"Lee Minhyuk, you're going to work with Lee Jooheon from class B."

Minhyuk groaned. "Can't I have anyone but him, sir?" 

"Would you like to switch partners with Mr. Im, then?" 

Kihyun almost laughed at the face Minhyuk made. He kept it to himself, though, he doesn't want to be enemies with him.

"No sir, I'll stick with my partner," Minhyuk grumbled.

The class went on and Kihyun was partnered with a guy named Boo Seungkwan, which made Minhyuk more upset because _"Why can't I get partnered with people like Boo? Instead I got the friend of the dimwit."_

So yeah, Kihyun was now in this predicament, suffering from Minhyuk and his incessant whining. Minhyuk, still lying on Kihyun's bed, has now remained silent while scrolling through his cellphone, pouting so much Kihyun feared that his lips would reach the bedroom floor. Kihyun knew that Minhyuk would not stop bothering him about switching partners and is just resting for now, so Kihyun decided.

"I'm going to switch partners with you," Minhyuk dropped his phone and quickly sat on the bed, smiling so wide Kihyun could almost count all his teeth, "but..."

"Why is there a but?" he once again (surprise, surprise) pouts.

"Because I said so. I'm going to switch partners with you, but..."

Kihyun observed Minhyuk as he anticipates what Kihyun will say next. He looked eager, as if more than willing to do anything to steal Kihyun's project partner from him. Kihyun hesitated, he doesn't want to cross lines. But he also doesn't want to be left in the dark, so he continued.

"But you're gonna have to explain to me everything about who Son Hyunwoo is and why are you so angry with him."

**MINHYUK**

_Explain everything about Son Hyunwoo and why am I so angry at him. Huh._

" I'm not angry at him," Minhyuk surprisingly said, making Kihyun double take, almost looking too comical. Kihyun was about to say something, maybe ask what the heck was Minhyuk talking about, but he spoke first.

"I _loathe_ him, Ki. I fucking loathe him."

Minhyuk felt all the pent up anger he was keeping rush out from his system. He felt the air he was inhaling becoming short, making it difficult to breathe. His eyes became unfocused, while his body slightly shakes as his mind replays all that has happened _that day._ He watched as Kihyun panics, telling him that it's okay, he didn't want to know, forget that he asked. But no. Minhyuk was so tired of keeping this to himself, of trying to mask his hurt with anger. He felt himself saying all the words he so wanted to shout for so long.

"Son Hyunwoo, he..." Minhyuk choked, forcing himself to continue, "he was my friend. I thought he was, until he made Hoseok hyung _leave._ I'll never forgive him for letting Hoseok hyung leave."

Minhyuk closed his eyes. It's been more than a year since everything happened, but every time he closes his eyes, everything still feels so vivid, as if it was only yesterday. 

"When you moved places three years ago, I was so broken, Ki. I felt so alone. You were my first friend, someone who was able to understand my situation. You never judged me, and I was so happy to have you. I found a brother in you—an ally. I was so grateful to have someone to turn to, someone to make promises and dream with. But then you had to leave."

Minhyuk was now crying, and he felt the bed shift as Kihyun sat beside him and embrace him. Minhyuk feels Kihyun's breath slightly hiking, clearly not expecting him to talk about their past. It's long overdue, but he had to let his best friend know.

"I was so mad at you back then, I felt so betrayed that you left me to rot in that place. But during the summer break, my father also decided to move places. He was suddenly eager to move back here, his hometown, that I wasn't able to mourn our lost friendship. And then I met Hoseok." 

He stopped. He thought that he was ready, that he was brave enough to talk about him, but Minhyuk is still afraid. He still hurts for Hoseok, _his sweet, gentle Hoseok._

Minutes have passed, and Kihyun might have thought that Minhyuk would stop telling him about his past, but Minhyuk, although still with tears in his eyes, continued.

"I met Hoseok, and Ki, he's so wonderful. He's so patient and kind and understanding that he was able to break down my walls. I told him about you, about our life back in our old town. He taught me all sort of things. To be kind, to be happy. To _forgive,_ Ki. I was able to forgive you because of him. He said that I was not angry, I just wanted to not be afraid. Slowly, I was able to be finally happy again."

He was now full on crying, and he felt Kihyun's embrace tightening. He forces himself to continue. He had to.

"Summer ended and the school year started, and although Hoseok hyung was a year older than me, we still made sure to hang out with one another. That's when I met Hyunwoo. He was Hoseok's best friend, and in turn, he also became mine. Us three, we were inseparable, Ki. For two years we were always together—eating together at the cafeteria during breaks, walking home together everyday after classes, and even sleeping at Hyunwoo hyung's place on the weekends. We were so happy. I was able to forget everything. My life became meaningful again, until the day it wasn't."

Minhyuk felt himself smile sadly, but as he remembered the events that happened more than a year ago, he became angry. He felt uncontainable anguish that he wanted to lash out at someone—something—just to make everyone know how angry he was. Kihyun must have noticed that his knuckles have become white from his tight grip on the bed sheet, because the shorter male held his hand while he himself was sputtering words that sounded like _'I'm sorry'._

"Hyunwoo hyung and Hoseok hyung had left for the beach during the next summer break. We always wanted to go there and planned to go that summer, but I was running a fever back then. I didn't know that they still went. Hyunwoo hyung insisted that they must go, without telling me. They took Hyunwoo hyung's dad's car, arrived there, and somehow they had a fight. Hyunwoo hyung made Hoseok hyung so angry that the latter decided to leave. Hyunwoo hyung didn't try to stop him. He let Hoseok hyung leave. Hoseok hyung, he...he drove the car and then..."

Angry tears haven't stopped from falling from Minhyuk's eyes. Kihyun was so silent that Minhyuk momentarily forgot that he was with someone, but as he continued telling his story, he felt Kihyun hugging him much tighter. He braced himself for the next words that he will say, not trusting himself to be able to tell them. 

"And then Hoseok hyung never returned. Nobody knows what exactly happened at the beach, but only Hyunwoo hyung ever made it back home. He only said that they had a fight, and he was never the same after. He avoided me, Ki. He stopped coming to school. He never even showed up when Hoseok hyung was...when he was..." 

Minhyuk can't continue. He was shaking so badly and was crying so much that he hasn't got the energy left to say something. He stayed there, in Kihyun's arms, finally letting go of all the tears he refused to shed when Hoseok left. When Hoseok left him, _for good._

"Shhhh, Min, it's gonna be alright, you're with me, I got you. I'm so sorry Min, but I got you." Kihyun tried to comfort him, but he was inconsolable. He let go of Kihyun's arms that was embracing him.

"You don't understand, Kihyun. You don't fucking understand how it feels to be afraid because you were left alone by the people you thought you would always have! You, Hoseok hyung, and Hyunwoo. You all left me when I needed you the most. I fucking hate all of you."

And then he left.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this is going to be a two-part flashback, because i'm finally revealing how kihyuk met and what happened to them three years ago. thank you for still reading this even though it's crappy lol keep safe luvs! <3

* * *

**KIHYUN**

Kihyun was left frozen on his bed, struggling to find the strength to go after Minhyuk. He knew how much it would affect his friend the day he had to go and leave his old town, but he never knew that this was how much Minhyuk was in pain. It hurts to see him like this, hiding all his emotions in pretense that he was fine. Kihyun should've known better, because Minhyuk had always been like that. He would smile, make jokes, and laugh as if he had no care about the world, but in truth, he was hurting. He would pretend that eveything was alright to hide the fact that something was killing him inside. Kiyun should've known better. After all, that's how they found each other.

(FLASHBACK, 3 YEARS AGO)

_KIihyun had been in the town of Jeju for all his life, and together with his father, they found ways to survive on their own. Kihyun have always been a quiet boy, always seen alone and with his nose peeking from the books he always seem to read, seemingly not caring about his peers. Though young, he had learnt to act and think maturely. More often than not he was alone in their house while his father was away working for hours to earn money for them to get by, so he never really had the chance to go out with friends—not that he has any. He was contented with that, enjoying the serenity and peace of being alone, until one day it all changed._

_It was a sunny and bright morning, and Kihyun was on his way to their school when suddenly, he bumped into something. This happpens to him almost everyday because he walks while trying to read. He would often bump into trees or lamp posts or sidewalk walls, so just like any other day, he brushed it off. He was about to continue walking and sidestep from whatever had he bumped into, when he heard someone laugh. Turns out, he bumped into someone, not something._

_"Hey, watch out. You could end up bumping the poor tree, we don't want to hurt mother nature, do we?"_

_A tall male stood in front of Kihyun, his lips forming an amused grin as he regarded Kihyun. The latter wondered who the stranger was, because as semingly uninterested he was with his surroundings, Kihyun is actually obsevant. He is actually aware of who his peers are, and he was a hundred percent sure this was the first time he had seen the other._

_"Uh...sorry, I wasn't looking where I was going," Kihyun bowed apologetically._

_"Clearly," the other said and this time, Kihyun caught the teasing tone in his voice. The stranger—he's annoyingly handsome, Kihyun observed—smiled at him and he felt himself blush. 'What the hell is wrong with me?' Kihyun didn't know what to say so he decided to stay silent._

_"I'm just kidding, you're really cute when you focus on reading your book, although you should be careful when you're outside."_

_"I...uh...thanks?"_

_Kihyun didn't expect the other to call him cute, and he can't help but to blush some more. The stranger might have taken notice of his reddening cheeks and ears, and once again the tall male laughed._

_"You're really cute, you know? I'm Minhyuk. Hope to see you more often, Yoo Kihyun," Minhyuk winked. Or did he?_

_"How'd you know my—"_

_"I read your name tag."_

_Oh. Right, the name tag on his uniform. Kihyun was feeling more embarrased than ever, so he decided to apologize once more for bumping into the guy, and as he was about to go on his way towards the campus, he felt the other following him. He looked back a couple of times to see if he was really following him, and to his surprise, he really was. For the fifth time that he looked back, he met eyes with the other—and he actually smiled at him._

_"Why are you following me?"_

_"I'm not," Minhyuk said simply. And so Kihyun walked straight ahead again, only to feel the other still following him._

_"Look, I'm really sorry that I bumped into you, okay? But it's really borderline creepy that you're still following me. Please go away."_

_"I'm really not," Minhyuk said while struggling to stifle a laugh. He pointed at the gate of Kihyun's campus and said, "I'm attending there, starting today."_

_"Oh."_

_Kihyun, you idiot. He was so embarrased—he can't believe that he made a fool of himself twice in font of the other—so he did the most manly thing any man would do in this situation: he ran._

_It proved to be useless, though. Because when classes had started and their homeroom teacher had arrived, Minhyuk was there, standing in front of the class, introducing himself as a new transfer student. Kihyun tried all his best to avoid the other, but to no avail. The moment the guy scanned the room and landed his eyes on Kihyun, he joyfully walked towards the empty seat beside him and from that day on, they became inseparable._

_Throughout the school year, him and Minhyuk would spend almost all their time together. Minhyuk would often drag Kihyun to go to places Kihyun never bothered to go to before, and in return, Kihyun would make Minhyuk spend time in the library—a feat only Kihyun was able to do because apparently, Minhyuk was banned from his previous school’s library due to him being too loud._

_“Kiiii~”_

_“What?”_

_“Why are we in the library, come on don’t tell me you’re gonna spend your birthday here.”_

_“It’s my birthday, I can do what I want with it.”_

_“But Kiiiii~_ _that’s the point. It’s your birthday, we should celebrate! Let’s go by the beach pleeeaaasee~~”_

_“We already went there on your birthday, why’d you wanna go there again?”_

_“Come on Kiiiiiiii let’s just goooo.”_

_“Minhyuk please be quiet, I’m trying to read.”_

_“You always read that, come on pay attention to me.”_

_“Minhyuk I swear to god, if we’re kicked out again, I’m gonna have to punch your meat stick into oblivion you’ll end up wishing to live in the Bermuda Triangle.”_

_“Pfffft WHAT WAHAHAHAHAHA SERIOUSLY KI HAHAHAHA THERE’S NO END TO YOUR CREATIVE INSULTS OH MY GOD MY MEAT STICK WHAT HAHAHAHA”_

_Kihyun should’ve known better: Lee Minhyuk always gets what he wants. In the end, with much whining and pouting from Minhyuk, Kihyun agreed (and no, the embarrasment from getting kicked out from the library didn’t influence his decision) to go to the beach. He watched as Minhyuk tossed away his shoes and socks while running towards the sea. He was laughing like a madman, running and playing with the sand and the waves as if it was his first time seeing it. Kihyun smiled while shaking his head._

_"Yah Lee Minhyuk why'd you get to enjoy this day more when it is MY birthday?" he called to his friend. Minhyuk, still with the smile on his face, ran back to where Kihyun was seated, and took something out of his bag._

_“Happy birthday, Ki. I know it’s only been a few months since we’ve known each other, but I’m glad you bumped into me that day.”_

_Kihyun have lived in the town of Jeju for all his life, and though he appreciates the view by the sea, he wasn’t especially fond of it. He was so used to seeing it everyday that he doesn’t see anything special about spending time there. But as he looked at Lee Minhyuk standing there, barefooted on the sand and his uniform crumpled, smiling so brightly while holding out a clumsily wrapped gift to him, Kihyun thought that he could get used to this._

_“Thank you, Min. I’m glad, too, that I bumped into you that day.”_

_Kihyun felt his face heating up. He wasn’t used to this, being all cheesy and vocal about his feelings. Heck, months ago, Kihyun would have not imagined himself having a friend by his side giving him a gift and spending his birthday with._

_“Aish, why you gotta be so red HAHAHA it’s just a gift, come on open it.”_

_Kihyun carefully pulled the red string that was wrapped around the small box. Inside it was a pair of colorful socks, and when Kihyun pulled it outside the box to see it clearly, he can’t help but to get teary-eyed. This was the first gift he had ever received from a friend. He was so happy that he hugged the sailor moon themed-socks towards his chest, and then he started to cry—a full-on, bawling his eyes out and snot-_ _inducing type of cry. Minhyuk, clearly not expecting this, panics and went straight into hugging him._

_“Oh my god Ki, why are you crying? I’m sorry the socks was meant to be a prank, I really got you another gift oh my god is it that ugly? I’m sorry!”_

_Minhyuk was handing him another box, a slightly bigger one, but Kihyun just kept on crying. They sat there, on the sand, by the sea, with Minhyuk hugging him and patting his head, trying to stop his sobbing. After Kihyun had finally calmed down, Minhyuk handed him his other gift. It was a book, the one he was trying to find for a while now but can’t no matter where he looked._

_“Thank you, Min, really. I’m sorry if I cried, I really appreciate your gifts. Where’d you even got this copy? I looked everywhere but all the stores around town doesn’t have it.”_

_“I ordered it online. But you, you scared me! I was meant to laugh at you after I see your disgusted face when you open that first box, instead you full on cried on me as if I offered to give you the world.”_

_“You already did,” Kihyun whispered to himself._

_“What?”_

_“Nothing! I mean...it was the first time I ever received a gift from a friend, I guess I just got overwhelmed.”_

_“Well, you might have to cry for the rest of your life, since I’m planning to give you gifts on every single one of your birthdays.”_

_Silence. It was now five o’clock in the afternoon, and the orange rays of the sunset are starting to set in. Kihyun and Minhyuk sat there smiling and looking at each other, none of them saying anything, just enjoying the comfortable silence. With the soft crashing of the waves, the gentle breeze that seem to tickle their skin, and the soft light of the sunset that illuminates their eyes, both friends knew that they have found home: in each other._


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> part 2 of the flashback is finally here huhu i'm sorry if i upated this late, i really had a lot going on in my life rn :( also, sorry if this chapter is shorter compared to others hehe i promise to make up for it in the next chapters :)) stay happy and safe, loves!

**KIHYUN**

_After spending their day together at the beach, Kihyun knew something between him and Minhyuk had changed. They became much closer, almost missing the other whenever one would be absent by the other's side. Minhyuk became more clingy (if that’s even possible), and he would often spend the night in Kihyun’s house. Since Kihyun’s father is almost always away working, them sleeping side by side on Kihyun’s bed has become a frequent occurence._

_Brothers from different mothers—that’s what people would utter every time they see the two boys walking together. Both boys would just agree and smile shyly, but behind closed doors, they knew that they were more than that. Even though no one would bring up the topic. Even though no one would ask the other about it. Kihyun knows, for sure, that what he and Minhyuk had, had changed._

_“Ki, do you ever wonder if there are other living things outside earth?” Minhyuk asked him one Saturday. It was in the afternoon, and they were in front of Kihyun’s house, gathering snow to make the (according to Minhyuk) largest snowman anyone had ever seen._

_“What, aliens? I mean nothing’s proven yet but maybe.”_

_“I think there are. I am almost sure. Not just aliens, you know? It’d be cool if there are whales flying outside of space, with their cute whale fins and huge tails swimming with the stars,” Minhyuk said, eyes almost shining with so much wonder._

_Kihyun laughed. Although they have been friends for almost a year now, Kihyun would always discover little things about Minhyuk that would either surprise him or make him adore the other more. Minhyuk just seems so innocent and pure and wonderful, that Kihyun can’t help but to smile at his odd but cute ideas. He may be annoying and obnoxious at times, but that’s just Minhyuk being Minhyuk, and Kihyun would never ask for him to change any of that. Although Kihyun would tell him otherwise._

_“Minhyuk, that’s absurd. You don’t want the poor whales to, I don’t know, die from lack of oxygen? Get burnt to toast from the sun?”_

_“You idiot, it’ll be the coolest! Space whales oh my god i wanna ride them so it could take me to places!”_

_“That sounds so wrong why’d you wanna extort marine life just to go to places? Just take a cab or something.”_

_Minhyuk threw a snowball towards Kihyun, while the other cackles in laughter—evidently enjoying the reaction of his friend to his teasing. Kihyun threw a much larger snowball to Minhyuk as a counter-attack, and soon enough, both boys are throwing snowballs at each other while laughing so hard._

_After their laughter had died down, both the boys became exhausted so they decided to lay on the snow-covered porch, lying closely together in an attempt to fight the cold. It was silent, just like when they were at the beach, and Kihyun felt Mihyuk slightly shiver. He silently searched for the latter’s hand, held it, and took it inside his jacket’s pocket. Minhyuk just smiled at him, grateful for the gesutre._

_“Ki.”_

_“Hmm?”_

_“Can I stay the night?”_

_“Mhm.”_

_Kihyun agreed in a heartbeat. It was now the 19th of December, three weeks since Minhyuk first asked if he could spend the night at Kihyun’s. At first, Kihyun was flustered, not really used to friends staying over, but this was Minhyuk we were talking about. He literally annoyed Kihyun for hours that the poor guy had no other choice but to agree. Kihyun would find himself days after, once again agreeing to Minhyuk and his request to stay. One night became two. And then three, and then seven._

_Minhyuk would insist on not going home and when Kihyun would ask why, the boy would just smile so wide and say he would miss Kihyun too much if they’re not together. Kihyun knew something might be up with Minhyuk’s parents, but he doesn’t want to force the other on telling him. He would just agree every time Minhyuk asks if he could stay, and often times when it’s time for them to sleep, on the wee hours of the night, he would hear the other silently cry. All he could do was to offer his friend a hug, and a whisper of reassurance that everything would be alright._

_After more shivers and a series of sneezes from Minhyuk, Kihyun decided that they should head inside. As soon as they were in the living room, Minhyuk removed his now soaked padded jacket from himself, and headed towards Kihyun’s bedroom upstairs, probably to borrow a set of dry clothes. Kihyun, on the other hand, went straight into the kitchen to make tea for him and Minhyuk to warm themselves up. While waiting for the water to boil, he reached towards the counter to get the tea, only to find the container empty. He looked for the chocolate powder he keeps at the back of the cabinet, and wondered if Minhyuk would settle for this instead of coffee._

_“Yah Lee Minhyuk, tea’s out of stock! Do you want coffee instead or a cup of hot choco?”_

_Kihyun shouted from the kitchen, although Minhyuk didn’t seem to hear. Kihyun called for the other once again, but to no avail. He turned off the stove after the water boiled, and decided to go upstairs to ask Minhyuk what he preferred. Halfway there, he stopped._

_Minhyuk was there, inside his room with the door slightly ajar, lying on his bed, seemingly in the process of clothing himself while fighting his eyes that are dangerously on the verge of closing. Kihyun silently laughed at Minhyuk’s half-naked state, and proceeded to go inside the room. He approached his friend and took the shirt he was trying to wear, intent on helping the other._

_“Shh Min, sleep. I’ll dress you.”_

_Kihyun stroked Minhyuk’s head, while the sleepy boy offered him a meek smile of gratitude. Once sure that Minhyuk was asleep, he tried to dress him. He gently lifted Minhyuk’s head and put on the shirt from earlier, and when he tried to lift his arms next, Kihyun froze._

_What he remembered to be a smooth and spotless skin, it was gone. Kihyun felt himself tearing up, not wanting to believe what he's seeing. He sat there, staring at the blue and purple bruises that are on Minhyuk's arms. No. This is not true. No one would do this to him. Please God, no. Not Minhyuk._

_With hands shaking and choked up sobs, Kihyun examined Minhyuk's body, trying and almost failing to keep himself quiet to not wake the other. Thankfully, apart from the bruises on his arms, Minhyuk seemed to be fine. He then finished dressing his friend up, and lied there beside him, crying and wondering why he never knew about this—why Minhyuk never told him about this._

_Kihyun laid there for hours, tears coming out from his eyes nonstop, staring at the sleeping face of Minhyuk. He looked at his closed eyes, his nose, and his beautiful lips—a ghost of a smile still hinting on them. How could someone this beautiful be hiding unimaginable pain and hurt on the inside? Kihyun stared at Minhyuk for god knows how long, and when he couldn't take it anymore, he hugged him. Careful not to put force on his bruised arms, Kihyun hugged him as tightly as he could, hoping that this would convey what he was truly feeling: regret, sadness, and mostly sorry. Sorry that he didn't notice; sorry that he didn't know. Sorry that there's nothing he could do to protect Minhyuk, his precious Minhyuk, other than to kiss his bruises hoping it would make the pain go away._

_Finally, after tiring himself out from crying, Kihyun, too, fell asleep._

(END OF FLASHBACK)

Still sitting on his bed not knowing what to do, Kihyun felt so many emotions all at once. He debated on whether to run after Minhyuk or give him time and space away from him, but a phone call interrupted his line of thoughts. He looked at his phone screen and saw that Hyungwon was calling him. He absent-mindedly answered it, brain still too distracted and too preoccupied on what happened between him and Minhyuk.

"Hello?"

"Kihyun, are you with Minhyuk? I've been trying to call him but he's not answering."

Hyungwon sounded too panicked and almost close to tears that it made Kihyun refocus on his surroundings. He felt that something was wrong, and his heart beats faster from being nervous.

"No, he... he left a while ago. Why? Did something happen?"

"Ki, it's Changkyun. He... he's in the hospital, please come as soon as you're available," Hyungwon sobbed. 

Kihyun wasted no time; he ran outside.

**Author's Note:**

> kudos and comments are highly appreciated, i would love to hear abt ur thoughts about the story because i know i suck at writing and it would help me a lot if i have your comments and suggestions ^^ thank youuuuu


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